Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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