i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
