drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
