Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
