We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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