Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And then my night got REAL pukey
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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