This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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