well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
