Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
