its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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