you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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