Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize