Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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