3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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