I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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