you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
