I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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