I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
