I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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