i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
