eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
