i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
