so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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