Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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