MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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