Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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