Sponge bath it is.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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