I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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