if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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