Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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