like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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