This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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