the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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