I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
