This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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