She's JV to your varsity
My liver just broke up with me...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
