Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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