So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
