I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
