i just wanna soil my oats bro
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
