If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
