You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
