I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
