u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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