His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
as a side note pls kill me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
