I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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