She is in my trunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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