I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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