what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
