Someone shit on the floor
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
