She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
