it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You smell like stripper and shame
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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