Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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