Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize