Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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