Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
should my penis look like a turkey
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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