sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
