u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
