I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
