...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
