K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
