Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
