FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
