I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
