Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
