I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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