obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think your dad took our porno
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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