An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize