I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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