i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
