haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
